At Two Moons, we believe women deserve better information, support, and care through every hormonal phase of life, not just during pregnancy or after menopause. That’s why we’re so excited to introduce you to Lauren A. Tetenbaum, LCSW, JD, PMH-C: a therapist, writer, and former lawyer who specializes in women’s reproductive mental health and supports women through major life transitions.
Lauren works with clients across New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Florida, and leads workshops and groups on topics ranging from maternal wellness to working parenthood, gender equity, and, more recently, perimenopause. Her writing has appeared in numerous digital and print platforms, and her first book, Millennial Menopause, tackles the hormonal and emotional shifts millennial women are starting to face in their 30s and 40s, often without the information or support they need.
In this interview, Lauren shares insights on early signs of perimenopause, emotional health, stress vs. hormones, and how sisterhood and self-advocacy can carry us through.
Read on for real talk, practical advice, and a reminder that it’s never too early to start tuning into your hormonal health.
1. What inspired you to write this book about perimenopause, and why is this conversation so important for millennial women right now?
As a therapist specializing in women’s reproductive mental health and a millennial, my work so far has been primarily focused on women in their 20s and 30s. I’m certified in perinatal mental health and mostly support women in emerging adulthood and through pregnancy and postpartum. But when I was 39, I started to wonder, What’s next? I talked to a few expert doctors and start-up founders in the menopause space and was blown away by how little I knew, and how little my friends and clients knew. And given that perimenopause symptoms tend to start in one’s late 30s and early 40s, I thought, This is something millennial women need to know about, now! I felt compelled to keep researching, talking, asking questions, and getting answers for all my peers.
2. What are some of the first signs of perimenopause that women in their 30s and 40s might overlook?
Some of the most common early symptoms of perimenopause include moodiness, fatigue, low libido, forgetfulness, and midsection weight gain. So many women in their 30s and 40s experience those things for a variety of reasons, including unfair societal pressures, the inability to get quality sleep because they are doing too much with too little support, and poor nutrition. But just because these symptoms are common does not mean we have to accept them as our new status quo. If they are indeed due to hormonal shifts, support is available. Women should know what all their options are so they can optimize their health.
3. As a therapist, what emotional shifts do you see during this stage, and how can we support our mental health through hormonal changes?
The majority of women experience some sort of emotional shifts during perimenopause. These can include irritability, wildly fluctuating mood swings, and symptoms of anxiety and depression. You have to know yourself. If it feels like these emotions are suddenly coming up out of nowhere, it could be due to perimenopause.
It could also be perimenopause if your emotional reactions are a bit different than usual. Many of my clients have experienced anxiety and depression in the past, but once they hit perimenopause, they felt like their emotions were more like rage or an out-of-control irritability.
If it’s new, it’s worth noting. Of course, women deserve support for their emotional stressors at any phase of life. Support can come in the form of taking care of one’s physical health, setting boundaries, speaking to peers and other social connections, and pursuing psychotherapy to help with all of this and to develop effective coping strategies for stress.
4. How can women tell if what they’re feeling is “just stress” or something hormonal?
This is a good question, but ultimately the answer, in my opinion, is that it doesn’t really matter except when it comes to treatment.
Women should be able to get support for whatever they need, including “just stress.”
Women in our culture tend to put themselves last, whether it’s regarding making doctor’s appointments or taking time to do something joyful. And stress and hormonal fluctuations can impact and exacerbate each other.
Regarding treatment, you may want to pursue more medical options like hormone therapy if your feelings are indeed due to perimenopause. If you’re experiencing stress and it’s showing up for you in a different way than usual, or if you feel like you’re not able to cope with it in usual ways (many perimenopausal women I work with say they feel like they’ve lost their resilience), it could be due to hormone changes. Women really need to listen to themselves, and to have medical providers and other healthcare practitioners, like psychotherapists, who also really listen to them.
5. What common misconceptions do women still have about perimenopause and hormonal health?
Oh, so many! Many women don’t even know what “perimenopause” is because they’ve been taught little to nothing about it, and most do not know that it can start in one’s 30s. Nor do they know much about women who experience early or premature menopause. That’s why I wrote my book. It’s not our fault we don’t know, but knowledge is power. So let’s learn, and let’s speak up about how we are feeling.
One of the biggest misconceptions about menopause in general remains the largely debunked idea that hormone therapy is unequivocally dangerous. There are many treatment options available, and women do not need to suffer through (or fear) the menopause transition.
6. What can women do now to support their hormones and prepare for a healthy transition into perimenopause?
Get quality sleep and proper nutrition. Use natural supplements if they are safe and necessary for you as an individual (everyone has different needs). Build lifestyle habits that are healthy and fulfilling, in multiple ways. Know your body and know yourself. Connect with other women and pursue policies that support women’s health. My book gives tips and expert-backed background info on how to do all this, because I know it’s not easy!
7. Are there any daily habits, wellness routines, or cycle syncing practices that can help women feel good in the menopause transition?
Every woman experiences the menopause transition differently, but every woman should get to know herself and her cycles (if she gets her periods) and her moods. General wellness must include good sleep hygiene, regular movement that feels good, and accessing support for stressors, whether that’s at work, at home, or in general.
8. How can we become better advocates for our hormonal health in a medical system that often dismisses us?
Speak up! At the doctor’s office, in conversations with friends or family, and at the ballot box. So many women I know are told “you’re too young for menopause” and get denied information they absolutely deserve to have access to. Bring a copy of my book and/or a loved one to your next healthcare appointment so you can stay grounded in what you need help with.
Don’t accept “jokes” about women being too hormonal, and normalize conversations about women’s health.
And vote for politicians who won’t ignore or harm us, who will instead fund research for us.
9. How can community or sisterhood play a role in this phase of life?
Sisterhood is such a beautiful part of this phase of life. While the menopause experience is a unique one, women can learn so much from others around them. It’s amazing to see the impact of talking about menopause on one’s mental health (not to mention the benefits we know of connection on cognitive health). Keep talking to each other. You are not alone!
10. Where can our readers find your book and follow your work?
Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life’s Next Period is available at all major booksellers on July 15. My website (www.thecounselaur.com) lists all of my upcoming events and media appearances, and you can email me at Lauren@thecounselaur.com or reach out via Instagram (@thecounselaur). It’s my pleasure and privilege to support, empower, and connect with women through my work.
In Conversation With
Lauren A. Tetenbaum, LCSW, JD, PMH-C is a therapist and writer focused on women’s reproductive mental health. A former lawyer and mom of two, she provides therapy in NY, NJ, CT, and FL, and supports women through life transitions. She writes about perimenopause, maternal wellness, gender equity, and working parenthood. Millennial Menopause is her first book.